


Restore Me

by dammitspawk



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M, Missing Scene, The other McKay asks something from John, s04e20 The Last Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dammitspawk/pseuds/dammitspawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“John, can I ask one thing from you?” McKay’s voice was soft, it lacked the confidence the genius always possessed.</p><p>“Sure, go ahead.” </p><p>“Don’t let me marry Jennifer. In fact don’t even let me come close.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restore Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a plot bunny that when it came would not leave me alone even though it was a lot of work to finally squeeze the story out into Word. Work is not beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

_"Restore me_

_Restore life_

_The way it should be_

_I'm waiting for this cough syrup_

_To come down"_

_\- Cough Syrup, Young The Giant_

* * *

         It had been a week since the incident with the time traveling gate jump. The whole episode had been somewhat surreal. Even for John, even in the Pegasus Galaxy. To see a nearly 50,000-year-old not-McKay, well it had been a bit of a surprise after activating that hologram program, even after hearing his voice. And even now the event wouldn’t let him sleep.

         _It was quite a disturbing feeling, being reanimated after being in stasis for nearly 800 years. John nearly fell out of the pod after he had awoken, a moment later falling to his knees after taking only a step. He took four deep breaths, and all of a sudden Rodney (or not-Rodney) was standing there beside him._

_“It worked! I can’t believe it! I was sure there was never going to be enough power generated by those solar generators!” The scientist was practically jumping up and down while John still knelt on the floor trying to regain his composure._

_“Thanks for the confidence…” The colonel responded._

_“Hey I’d give you a great big pat on the back if I could but of course being a hologram made up of projected light and not actual matter-“_

_“Yeah, yeah I get it, now aren’t we supposed to be doing something? Like I don’t know dialing the gate so I can get back to my own timeline?” Sheppard stabbed at the hologram of his friend._

_“Yes, yes of course.” McKay responded and followed a wobbly colonel towards the control room._

_Soon they were standing in front of the DHD, John dialed all the symbols except the point of origin, waiting for Rodney’s signal._

_“Three minutes until the prominence reaches its full ark,” the hologram genius said. John let out a heavy breath. They were both silent for a moment, the air hot and heavy between them._

_“John, can I ask one thing from you?” McKay’s voice was soft, it lacked the confidence the genius always possessed. It made Sheppard pause before he answered. When did McKay ever ask before doing anything?_

_“Sure, go ahead.” The Colonel said as though he had sensed nothing wrong._

_“Don’t let me marry Jennifer. In fact don’t even let me come close.”_

_“What?” That was probably the last thing he had expected to come out of the physicist’s mouth._

_“I can’t get into a serious relationship with Keller okay? And it’s not just because she gets sick. I mean when you get back that will all change it’s just... Even now Rodney McKay thinks he’s in love with her. But it’s not going to end well.” John didn’t look away from the hologram’s face once. It was really hard to believe he wasn’t the real Doctor McKay. He looked at John with pleading eyes when he said, “She’s just not the one John.”_

_John thought that he would have the urge to say ‘Ha told you so,’ even though he hadn’t or at least ‘I’m really sorry buddy,’ but he couldn’t bring even a breath past his lips. There must have been more silence between him and Rodney in those five minutes then there was in the entirety of the time he had known him. But it was broken abruptly by a beeping._

_“Oh sorry I set a little alarm,” McKay broke out of the silence, “Just to make sure, you know we don’t miss it.” He let out a bit of a nervous laugh._

_“Alright hope this works,” John said, like his normal self. He pressed the final button and the stargate let out a loud swoosh as the wave of the event horizon filled the gate room. “Time to go!”_

_He raced down the stairs into the gate room without missing a beat and stopped before the gate._

_“John.” Sheppard turned to face Rodney._

_“Will you promise me?” John knew what he was talking about. Keller. He nodded._

_“I promise.” He stared to turn back to the gate, eager to get home._

_“Oh and John,” the holo-McKay started again. John turned back to him._

_“It was, ah, really great to see you again.” The hologram’s eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment._

_“Yeah,” John responded with a nod, “you too buddy.”_

_With one last lopsided smile the hologram blinked out of existence and John Sheppard stepped through the gate to his own timeline._

         John was still staring up at his ceiling. The same way he had been since he laid down to sleep. His sheets were feeling itchy and his mattress too cushiony now. He squirmed to see his alarm clock. 01:02 stared back at him in electric blue from his night table.

 _Shit,_ he thought to himself. He had a briefing for a mission tomorrow at 08:00 and he hadn’t showered before he had gone to bed, leaving another thing for him to do in the morning. But still, the Rodney-hologram’s eyes stared back at him every time he closed his eyes.

 _Don’t let me marry Jennifer. In fact don’t even let me come close. She’s just not the one John._ Those words should not have given such a relief to the pilot. He knew it was selfish. John had almost considered sabotaging their growing relationship but had quickly beaten down the thought. He had seen the glow in Rodney’s eyes as he explained there ‘first date’ (with perhaps a few over exaggerations). John agreed with the Rodney hologram, Keller wasn’t right for Rodney.

Sliding out of his bed and towards the door with a sigh, John decided to head to the mess. He needed to talk to Rodney but for now maybe a bite to eat would help clear his head, since he wasn’t getting any sleep anyway. He might as well think of what he was going to tell his best friend, preferably keeping any of his personal feelings out of the conversation.

Atlantis opened the doors for him as he dragged his feet into the mess hall and was surprised to find the lights already at twenty percent and someone else already set up with a tray full of snacks in front of them. Well a tray full of blue jello. John’s stomach dropped with simultaneous feelings of dread and happiness. Dread from the impending conversation he had yet to plan out, and happiness… well it wasn’t something he had quite figured out yet but he had been feeling it for a long time now. Every damn time he set eyes on the over confident scientist. Rodney looked his way. _Too late to hide now._

“Hey John, can’t sleep?” John rubbed the back of his neck, which was becoming somewhat of a nervous habit, and shook his head before heading over to the table where Rodney was seated.

“You?”

“I was in the lab working on something. You know that personal shield thing I found when we got here?”

“The same one that Lucious managed to get his hands on a model of?” John asked back.

“Yeah that one. I’ve been working on a way to power it up again. It might come in handy. And of course now we know that it can be used on more than one person so it can be even more valuable.” Rodney said digging into another cup of jello. He had gone through half of the near dozen he had originally acquired. John stole one off his tray and ripped off the cover.

“They just got in a new shipment on the Deadalus. I thought I’d nab my fair share before all those pesky technicians got their grubby hands all over them.” If it had been anyone else, Rodney would have yelled at them for stealing his favourite dessert but Rodney had taken so many jello cups from John’s tray that he owed him at least this much.

Sheppard, for lack of a spoon, stuck his tongue into the jello cup and started to suck out its contents, inciting a momentarily confused Rodney to stare at him with wonder. Once he had eaten nearly half of it John caught Rodney’s gaze.

“What?” he challenged. McKay seemed to snap out of it.

“Would it kill you to eat that like a civilized human being?” The physicist bit back.

“What like you when you first get a hold of a meal?” Rodney glared back at him. John chuckled. “Besides, it’s not like I have a spoon.”

John quickly slurped out the rest of the contents of the cup and set it back on Rodney’s tray.

“So, how’s Jennifer?” John might as well get this over with as quickly as possible. There was no reason he had to drag this task out over a painfully long amount of time. The other Rodney just wanted him to break them up, and since they hadn’t even been on a second date yet it would be easy peasy to do it quickly and harmlessly.

“Oh right, didn’t I tell you?” John felt that drop in his stomach again but this time it was only the horrible feeling of dread that came with it.

“No?” John said carefully. Was he too late? Had they already hooked up? Were they already becoming comfortable?

“I asked her to dinner. A Second Date.” Rodney enunciated it with certain importance, more like he had been nominated to run Atlantis than a chance to have dinner with a college, with a big smug smile on his face. John let out a bit of his breath he hadn’t realized had become so tight in his chest. And here he was about to jump to the conclusion Rodney had already bought another ring.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” John tread carefully. He was making this up as he went along. He didn’t want to strike any chords with his best friend. He didn’t want to risk the chance of Rodney storming off, his relationship with Keller progressing beyond control and Rodney not trusting John with any more of his girlfriend matters.

“Well why not?” Rodney’s smile faltered. “She’s perfect! Blonde hair, great body, and she likes me,” some of his initial happiness returned.

“I dunno Rodney… She just doesn’t really seem your type. I mean besides the blonde hair and great body.” John said in a convincing tone.

“How do you mean?” John could already see Rodney’s resolve faltering. He always trusted John and now John counted on that. To change Rodney’s future, for the better he hoped.

“It’s just, she seems like the type of woman who is going to want what most women want. To settle down in a house, with a small lot you know and a lawn, a garden. A lawn that you will have to mow I might add. And then kids. She’ll want the whole deal and I’m not so sure she’ll want to put up with your little projects which you will no doubt leave all over the house. She’ll move away from Atlantis and expect to live out the rest of her days in domestic suburbia and Rodney I just can’t see you doing that. Can you?” John was leaning on the table, forearms pressed against its top and pressing his fists against Rodney’s tray. He swallowed in anticipation of Rodney’s answer. He could only predict either ‘Yeah okay I guess you’re right,’ or ‘Shut up and get the hell out,’ at the moment.

“She’s worth it.” McKay nearly whispered out looking down at John. John’s brow furrowed but he made no sound. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. _Even now Rodney McKay thinks he’s in love with her,_ John could hear the holo-Mckay’s words echo in his mind. _I’m doing this for you buddy, please just see that,_ he pleaded silently.

“I mean, if she isn’t who is?” McKay laughed the comment off but it held a certain weight that even he realized. John had all but given up. This wasn’t going to work, not like this. There must be another way. Still, hope pricked at his mind.

“I dunno buddy.”

John decided to leave it there for now and asked Rodney about other goings on. Rodney told him his plan for powering up the shield. John didn’t understand the half of it but from Rodney’s hopeful tone there seemed to be a good chance that it would work. They talked about it until he had finished every last jello cup on the tray and by then they were both starting to feel tired, John already yawning as he stood up. In an unspoken agreement they both headed towards their quarters. They were in the same section, although Rodney’s room was a little father than John’s. Rodney was now going on about something stupid that one of his minions had done and how he had had to fix it because Zelenka was off doing something or other in the control room. Before either of them realized they were at John’s door.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Rodney told him as they stood outside John’s quarters.

“Bright and early, briefing’s at 0800,” John replied.

“Is that tomorrow? I thought it was on Wednesday!” Rodney said confused.

“Tomorrow _is_ Wednesday, Rodney,” John told him with a bit of a smirk.

“Oh good god what happened to Monday…” Rodney mumbled, still confused.

“Goodnight Rodney,” John said, smile now at full as he opened his door.

“Night John,” Rodney responded starting down the hall towards his own room. John looked after him for a few moments. _How is this going to work?_ he wondered to himself. He would make it work, he had promised.

The next few days went by as usual. The team went on missions, they ate together, John and Rodney played chess a few times too. It was over one of these chess games when John asked Rodney,

“So how about that second date with Keller?” John could see the question caught Rodney off guard. It took him a moment to answer.

“It, ah, hasn’t happened yet.” Rodney replied moving a pawn forward.

John was a little surprised, he would have thought that Rodney would have planned it for as soon as possible.

“Really?” John swiftly took Rodney’s pawn.

“Yeah actually. I mean it was planned for last night but I had something I had to finish in the lab, you know, so I postponed it.”

“Oh.” John said simply. Rodney seemed distracted for a moment. He didn’t even have a fuss over John taking his pawn. John was actually surprised Rodney had made such a simple and stupid move.

“We re-planned for tomorrow night though so I’m sure this time it will go smoothly,” Rodney said as he placed another piece, with a smile that covered his face but had no heart. John took one of his knights.

“Well that’s good. I’m sure it will go well,” John encouraged after placing Rodney’s knight beside the board.

“Yeah hope so.”

They finished their game without another word about Keller, not another word for the rest of the day as a matter of fact. As John ate dinner with the team that evening he thought on how odd that was for Rodney. To not be telling everyone of his grand plans to woo his girl right down to the very year of the pinot noir was very unlike him. John remembered how excited he was at the prospect of buying her a drink.

That night John dreamt of the desert-encased future Atlantis and the not-Rodney hologram. Walking through the sand to get to the stasis pods but instead of Rodney telling him about Ronon he was telling him of how he’d married Keller, they had kids, a house and how Rodney McKay slowly went insane, ending up in a mental asylum. How everyday he would call John’s name.

_“You promised John, you promised me. You said you wouldn’t let this happen.”_

When John had finally opened the door instead of the pod room he was in Rodney’s asylum room. The doctor stood in a straight jacket with cuts on his head from banging against the door.

 _“You promised!”_ he had screamed.

Then John was back in the gateroom with the older Rodney.

_“It was, ah, really great to see you again.” The hologram’s eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment._

This time when John stepped through the gate he opened his eyes instead. The dream seemed to last years although not much had happened and John was glad for it to be finally over. He really had to fix this Keller thing soon or else it would be him in the insane asylum.

It wasn’t until two days later eating lunch with Rodney that John had realized that Rodney had had his second date with Keller.

“So how was that date, you never told me.” Rodney stopped in the middle of lifting a spoon of cream of mushroom soup to his mouth.

“It was good,” he said without lustre before spooning the soup past his lips. “You know we talked. About, um, stuff, things. We ate. It was good.”

“Well. Good,” John said a little awkwardly. It looks like their relationship was going down the toilet without even John’s help. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.

“I should have brought out the merlot instead of the pinot noir,” Rodney almost mumbled. John raised an eyebrow. “Nevermind.”

After that they finished lunch, Rodney went back to the lab, and John went to the gym. He sparred with Ronon, who was no Teyla but he could tell something was up with Sheppard. He let him off easy with just a few bruises and no questions asked. On the mission the next day Rodney seemed distracted. _Probably planning his next date,_ John thought to himself. The odd behavior continued over the next couple days, mostly around John. Maybe he had struck a chord. The thought left an ugly feeling in John’s gut and a nagging worrying in his mind.

It was Tuesday night when the dream returned. This time, however, when he got to Rodney’s asylum room he was sitting on the floor with the holo-McKay standing next to him.

_“Tell him, it’s simple, just say it,” the hologram told John. The Rodney on the floor looked up at him._

_“You said that you’d save me John. You promised…” His eyes were pleading and broken. It almost made John want to cry and reach out for him but his stubborn feet stayed planted._

_“You’re not going to get out of this without letting him know. That’s all you need to fix this. Say it.” Suddenly the hologram blinked out of existence and John was left staring at the cross-legged straight-jacketed Rodney on the floor._

_“Fix it John.” Rodney had left despair behind and his eyes glimmered like those of the hologram before leaving John at the gate. “I know you can do it.”_

_Then again he was back in the gateroom._

_“Oh and John,” John spun around, the scene playing out the same every time._

_“It was, ah, really great to see you again.”_

John’s eyes opened to the ceiling and he immediately slipped out of bed. _Fix it? Say it? What am I supposed to say?_ His feet lead him right out his door and to the mess hall before he could even think of where he was going or what he was doing. And like dejá vu, the lights were up and the mess already had an occupant. Only this time Rodney was sitting where they usually played chess with no food in front of him, only the chessboard.

“Rodney?” John said groggily.

“John!” Rodney seemed to be surprised and a bit startled by his presence in the large room.

“I couldn’t sleep,” the pilot offered.

“Yeah neither could I,” the doctor responded.

John walked over to where Rodney sat but didn’t sit down himself. The confusion and adrenaline from the dream had him restless. What did the hologram mean, what was it he was supposed to tell Rodney? A silence stretched between them like when John was in the other Atlantis with the other McKay. It seemed John wasn’t the only one who had been thinking lately.

“I’m going to break it off with Jennifer.” Rodney was staring at the neatly ordered chess pieces on the board, playing with a knight between his thumb and finger.  
  
"Really.” John’s tone wasn’t apologetic or surprised.

“Yeah.” Rodney looked at John. “I think you’re right.”

John let out a dry chuckle. He didn’t want to be right really. He just wanted Rodney to be happy. But he knew that would never happen with Keller.

“She’s just not the one.” Rodney’s eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment, just like the hologram’s had before John stepped through the gate.

Suddenly John’s stomach dropped. He realized what the dreams were telling him, the feeling when he saw Rodney, what the other Rodney really _meant_ when he said _“She’s just not the one John,”_ the look in his eyes when he said _, “It was, ah, really great to see you again.”_

“Rodney,” John said with urgency. The scientist was still looking at John.

“Yeah.”

John didn’t waste any more time but swiftly bent down and placed his lips on Rodney’s. After a moment he felt Rodney press back. _Of course._ John pulled back and stared into Rodney’s crystalline blue eyes. Their warmth filled him and a smile spread across his lips as their breaths mingled. _How could I be so stupid._

“I love you.” John said simply. Rodney initiated the next kiss, pushing up from his chair and eliminating any other space between him and John. John feverously kissed back until he was out of breath.

“It’s you,” Rodney whispered against John’s lips, “you’re the one.” All of a sudden Rodney was laughing.

“What is it?” John held Rodney by the waist.

“Its just… I tried to make it work with Jennifer. I tried so hard. And this?” Rodney dove in for another quick kiss, “this is so easy.”

John’s hands slipped to Rodney’s and squeezed. Rodney squeezed back.

“I love you,” Rodney said breathlessly.

“Good,” John practically beamed.

 

 


End file.
